What makes him special?

Originally written 27th December 2019

When you say the words ‘Autism’ you think of meltdowns, adverse reactions to bright lights and loud noises etc, in a nutshell, over sensitive to stimuli or sensory overload. However as Autism is a ‘spectrum disorder’ it is a lot more difficult to identify the symptoms of Autism, especially within a toddler. For example, Ted is the complete opposite to the stigma as he has an ‘under’ sensitivity to sensory output. This means that the things that spike our attention and appeal to our physical sensory excitement don’t have the same effect on Ted. For example he craves bright lights and loud noises, he seeks them out to balance out his sensory processing. He has an incredibly high pain threshold which has its benefits as a little tumble doesn’t faze him, however a clonk on the head from the bathroom sink doesn’t really bother him, yet terrifies me as he develops a bruise in seconds. Don’t get me wrong, when he face planted the marble fire place we were welcomed by a scream and a gold ball standing to attention on his head, but within mins he was back to running around without a care in the world. With this he doesn’t tend to show when he is poorly. Most kids will seek a parent or want cuddles or become lethargic, not Ted. He will carry on his normal business of 0-100 for the majority of the day. Its not until be notice small changes in his behaviour that we take him to the doctors and they tell us he has a raging temperature or an ear infection or a chest infection.

When you have a child with disordered communication its a constant investigation and analysis of his temperament and behaviour. Is there a change on the number of hours he has slept? has he gone off jam? is he preferring fish fingers rather than chicken nuggets? is he spending more time reading? its a continuous guessing game and a lot of attention is needed. Ted loves lights and sounds so we are lucky enough to be able to go to firework displays and indoor play areas, however as time is moving forwards, Teds likes and dislikes are also developing too. He needs more familiarity such as old episodes of ‘Hey Duggee’, routine within nursery, not to be over crowded and is dubious of new environments. However we are lucky enough to have a large family and from a baby Ted has always been around different people, different houses and has become accustomed to going to new places if there are familiar faces around.

Having a new baby brother was a big worry for us as parents as this ‘thing’ was now here and wasn’t going away. He makes lots of noise and needs mummy attention, luckily for us, Ted took it in his stride and even though he is not the doting brother he does allow Monty in his space. He will go over and look at him every now and again and also sits near him if i have left the room which melts my heart.

Being non verbal has its own challenges as we are faced with the task of using PECS which is a picture exchange communication system that encourages people to communicate through pictures to identify their needs and also inform of routines and activities. We are not having much luck with that as Ted isn’t interested and also just looks at the pictures and then lobs them. Typical Ted. So laid back and stubborn but that’s what makes him Ted.

We are starting to notice frustrations with Ted when he struggles to communicate and we are struggling to understand. Its heart breaking, but we all have to persevere in the hope that one day we will unlock his communication. As he grows we are learning new things about Ted and also his Autism is developing too. It is not an illness but a way of looking at life and we are trying everyday to see life through his eyes. We are lucky to be parents of Teddy and all the joy and experiences we get to have with him. He brings with him difficulties as a family but the fun, laughter and joys we have completely outweigh anything that we will face along the way. I wouldn’t change my boy for anything, and what he brings to our family is what make him TED!!!!!